Scholarship? Or the Polar Opposite??
I spent forty hours working on a college essay for my favorite class: Love and Passion in the Age of King Charles III (2022–Present). I cited so. Many. Sources. My grammar was good. I poured my heart, my soul, my LIFE into that paper. I made COMPELLING, ORIGINAL claims. I thought I would get, like, a Pulitzer or an Academy Award for it. Two days after submitting, my teacher called me into his office. "Jason Depp (that's my name)– Turnitin indicated that you auto-generated 935% of your essay with ChatGPT. You are a liar, a slacker, and you clearly know NOTHING about love and passion in the Age of Charles III. And guess what, sucker? You're expelled!!" I hadn't CHEATED! Yet I was expelled from HarvardStanfordCambridge University and had to become an uncertified dog trainer. This allowed me to enroll at a trashy online school and begin working towards a degree in municipal services. I had to write a piece about plastic recycling. I spent thirty minutes on it, did basically no research, and made it as bad as possible. Microsoft Word gave me 6769 grammar suggestions. It got an A+, because Turnitin said there was no AI use and my teacher was like... YAH! Das ist HOT! Turnitin seems to reward work that is riddled with errors and exhibits, um, aggressive boredom. 'Cause if you write and research well, you must be a @#$%&*!@#$% cheater who uses AI for every step of the writing process. From now on, I will be recording every part of my writing process: the mental agony of coming up with ideas; the grueling research; and finally, the process by which I commit all my thoughts, hopes, dreams, and efforts to paper. But now you can generate videos. So how will my professors even know that the documentation of my work is real? Mega-love to the people at Turnitin, and to anyone reading this review. But if we've lost the ability to trust one another at such a bloody deep level, maybe there be more at stake than simply determining whether or not a paper is AI-generated. ~ Jason Depp.
By Jason D.